Sometimes I forget that I graduated in May. May was only 5 months ago. I graduated 163 days ago! So much has happened since then that it really is incredible to look back and see how far (literally) I’ve come.
When you’re in the US school system for so long you unconsciously start measuring your life in quarters and semesters and summer breaks. A year is September-June until you get to college and then it’s the end of August-May. But when you graduate you loose that measurement of time so you start measuring time by the weekends and the seasons, spring, summer, fall winter. Maybe you measure time by how often you go shopping to buy new clothes that fit the season (#sweaterseason). It’s a strange adjustment, one that I haven’t fully grown accustomed too quite yet.
In Rwanda the weather is generally the same, or stays in the same range, all year round. There’s a rainy season and a dry season, but the temperature is generally the same. Some days I do need a sweater, but mid-day is always in the 70’s. I love it! I’ve decided I was made to live in a warm place, one where there’s lots of sun and I can wear dresses whenever I want (Read: no pants)! But not having the seasons to measure time is very different. I see snapchats and pictures of my friends wearing bean boots and fuzzy sweaters and here I am in a dress, eating watermelon. Some days I feel like years have passed and other days I feel like I just got here.
I think about time in general, the idea that we only have 80 or so years here and I think about the way time is always passing. I think about when I was in middle school and all I wanted was to be 18; but now I’m 23. I think about Doctor Who and the time and space continuum and the idea that time is so arbitrary and yet so integral to our lives. I think about how really all we have is this moment in which we’re currently living.
I want to make sure I’m alive and living in the present. Today is Sunday and there’s a bird squawking outside and my breaths are slow and even. I have 52 days left in Rwanda but all I want is to live out this day. October 16th. Because we have our whole lives ahead of us, but we also just have today. This moment. Here. Now. Even if I can’t measure time in seasons or semesters, I can measure it in breaths. This breath. And this one.
I encourage you to make some space in your day just to stop worrying and thinking about tomorrow or your to-do list and just be. Think about where you are now. In the time and space continuum you are right here. Sitting, standing, walking, lying down. There is no other you that can take up this space! Time is arbitrary, but this moment is happening right now, to you. I think that’s pretty cool.